Sta.sh
Dear beloved darling,
I know you may never read t-his letter, so it seems more like I am writing to myself. Although I am writing to reach you, I feel I cannot express my feelings for you. There are no words to describe the way I long for you. The depression eating away at my heart is only hidden by my fake smile that hides my true feelings. As my feelings fade to nothing I want you to know you will always be held close in my heart.
My words probably mean nothing to you, but I can tell you it is the sincere truth. Excuse me as my life slips into darkness and the fading thing I call light drifts away. My usual habits become a thing of the past as I find myself only things more and more of you. I want to let you go but I can’t. Only until I find someone else that this shroud of darkness may disappear. This ‘emo’ feeling is like a dark shard on my heart.
Call me dramatic but that’s just the way it is. It was like I didn’t exist to anyone before I tried to let you go. Now everyone sees the girl dressed in dark articles of clothing feeling miserable for herself. This isn’t the kind of publicity that I wanted. Do you know how I feel? Probably not…ignore me as you usually and carry on with your regular life. As if already didn’t do that, I just hope you can return my feelings and hope to bring my life back too normal…
With hopes of love,
Alyssa
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A certain guy at school that I like is very close to me.
And this is the first time this has ever happened to me. High school was a very low point for me, seeing as I didn't get along with anyone really in my class and I didn't think any guys liked me because they thought I wasn't pretty enough, rich enough, wore the right clothes, had the right hair, etc, ect...
But then came college.
People accepted me for who I am, not who I used to be. I had a whole new fresh start. I got to be who I wanted and I didn't feel like I had to compete for anyone's affections, like I had to earn it with something superficial. I can be stupid and I know my friends will still be there for me.
And this guy...I've waited a long time for someone like him, and its amazing how life can work itself out. Usually, I liked a guy and he NEVER liked me back. In this case, he and I ended up watching movies every Friday night together, ate meals together, talked for hours and even spent entire Saturdays together. Now, during the summer, he calls me about once a week just to chat.
I don't deserve someone as amazing as him. But it's just kind of funny how these sorts of thing just happen, especially when you aren't expecting it.
Phew, I know this comment got kinda long, but I hope it helps you out. Just be patient. I know waiting is hard, but when the right guy or moment you've wanted comes along, it will be well worth the wait.
but meh whut do i know?
zomg ur alive (?!)